Sunday, December 11, 2011

Hiatus

This probably won't seem like much of a hiatus seeing as my posting has been patchy anyhow, but I've decided that I need a break from adoption stuff. Between the holiday season and starting a new job recently, my mind is being pulled in other directions. I still read adoption blogs and articles on occasion. To be honest, though, the news regarding my birth mother kind of took the wind out of my sails. The job I accepted is not in the adoption field and I'm actually grateful for that. I believe it will always be an interest of mine. I know I will come around again. Right now, I just need time to let all the hurt out so that I can get to a place of healing. Nothing brings the tears quite like Joni Mitchell's "Little Green". And I need to cry. I feel like I haven't really cried enough over this. Maybe I've just been too busy.

All I need right now is time. Time to process. Time to get used to my revised life story. Did I mention that I have a half sibling? That is definitely an odd piece of info for an only child to absorb. Maybe that sibling will want to meet me one day if he/she even knows that I exist. Maybe my omoni will one day change her mind and decide that she wants to have contact. Or maybe she won't. There are so many unknowns. So many questions that might never have answers which means that I must create my own sense of resolution. I don't know yet how I will accomplish that, but it will happen with time.

At any rate, I will be back here sometime after the new year. I hope everyone feels safe and loved this holiday season, whether you celebrate or not. As always, you can reach me at chopsticksoo (at) yahoo (dot) com.

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