I have been a ball of stress lately. Getting back into the swing of the semester has been difficult for me. Being at school or internship all day and then coming home to a pile of reading, papers and projects is frankly a little depressing. I’ve been completely remiss as far as the blogosphere goes. After spending so much time in front of my laptop doing work, I really need to stare at something else when I have the liberty to do so! My mind has been consumed by a myriad of things. As such is the case, I honestly have nothing adoption-related to share today, so you might want to stop reading here! I’m in a writing mood regardless.
I had a slight epiphany the other day. It really hit me this past week when my supervisor asked me what I did over the weekend and I realized I always have the same bland reply to give him (doing schoolwork, running errands, cleaning..how adventurous). What on earth am I doing with my life? Besides being a grad student, I mean. The scary realization is that I’m not doing anything! Obtaining my degree is extremely important to me, but I don’t think I need to work for it at the expense of putting every other aspect of my young life on hold. No one can live that way. I don’t need to get a grip. Au contraire, I need to pry my fingers away and enjoy my life again. If I don't seek out those good experiences, ironically, I could end up burning out of school. There is something to be said for self preservation.
Fortunately the restoration is already in progress. I took a chance on a coffee date yesterday. Sipping on a delicious seasonal drink was just the bonus. We had a really great, genuine conversation for over an hour. On my drive home from the café, I couldn’t stop singing. I felt so relaxed and cheerful. It was the first time I had felt that way in a long time and I’m very thankful for it. It was an experience that came at the most opportune time. We live in such a fast-paced, anxiety-ridden world, but I won’t let it bring me down. I’m not going to spend my one life absorbed by worry and negativity.
It occurs to me that this may have been a selfish entry. It probably is. I really just had to write this for me. It’s so easy to acknowledge the bad in life, but the good deserves some attention, too. Some love, even.