Saturday, September 25, 2010

Smelling the flowers

I have been a ball of stress lately. Getting back into the swing of the semester has been difficult for me. Being at school or internship all day and then coming home to a pile of reading, papers and projects is frankly a little depressing. I’ve been completely remiss as far as the blogosphere goes. After spending so much time in front of my laptop doing work, I really need to stare at something else when I have the liberty to do so! My mind has been consumed by a myriad of things. As such is the case, I honestly have nothing adoption-related to share today, so you might want to stop reading here! I’m in a writing mood regardless.

I had a slight epiphany the other day. It really hit me this past week when my supervisor asked me what I did over the weekend and I realized I always have the same bland reply to give him (doing schoolwork, running errands, adventurous). What on earth am I doing with my life? Besides being a grad student, I mean. The scary realization is that I’m not doing anything! Obtaining my degree is extremely important to me, but I don’t think I need to work for it at the expense of putting every other aspect of my young life on hold. No one can live that way. I don’t need to get a grip. Au contraire, I need to pry my fingers away and enjoy my life again. If I don't seek out those good experiences, ironically, I could end up burning out of school. There is something to be said for self preservation.

Fortunately the restoration is already in progress. I took a chance on a coffee date yesterday. Sipping on a delicious seasonal drink was just the bonus. We had a really great, genuine conversation for over an hour. On my drive home from the cafĂ©, I couldn’t stop singing. I felt so relaxed and cheerful. It was the first time I had felt that way in a long time and I’m very thankful for it. It was an experience that came at the most opportune time. We live in such a fast-paced, anxiety-ridden world, but I won’t let it bring me down. I’m not going to spend my one life absorbed by worry and negativity.

It occurs to me that this may have been a selfish entry. It probably is. I really just had to write this for me. It’s so easy to acknowledge the bad in life, but the good deserves some attention, too. Some love, even.


  1. I know exactly what you mean! There's nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself--everyone needs a chance to relax. It's all too easy to burn out when you're working on things related to work and school all the time, and staring at the computer for hours on end is a good way to end up with sore eyes and a new nickname, probably along the lines of 'zombie' :P

    I for one don't mind hearing about the good things in life, so if that's what you want to write about, it's your blog--go ahead! ^^

  2. I can totally relate. I think we so easily get all tangled up in worry and fear that we forget to unwind and enjoy life. I think that's part of the reason why I chose to start my new blog: so I can get away from focusing on things that don't make me sad. We only have a limited time on this earth. Shouldn't we try to enjoy it as much as we can? :-)

  3. Yep. You need to get out there and enjoy the world. I'm convinced this is one of the downsides to being a thoughtful and smart person---we spend too much time thinking analyzing and not enough time living and enjoying! So go find yourself some happy time.

  4. Each one of these comments made me smile! I'm definitely enjoying my life more as of late. :)