Ack. Apologies for the lack of updates! I've been working a summer retail job which is surprisingly exhausting. Let's just say I'm not getting any younger and this job is surely proving that. Is it sad that I'm saying that at 23? Yup.
So, my absence is part work-related, but in truth I needed a little break. This exploration of adoption can get consuming and, at times, emotionally draining for me. Don't get me wrong--it is incredibly meaningful and I'd rather explore and challenge myself than take it all for granted. I think a lot of my feelings are reflected in this post by Yoon Seon, another adoptee blogger. This adoptee identity is not some layer to be easily skimmed away. Nothing will change this part of who I am, but what about the rest of me? I'm still just a human with plenty of interests and people in my life. Sometimes figuring out how to reclaim my Korean culture feels like another task added to my list and it saddens me that I even need to reclaim it in the first place. It's my choice to reclaim it, of course. And I want to, but the lack of local resources is disheartening. Even the closest Korean restaurant to me is an hour away. I guess you could say I'm feeling ultimately discouraged right now. My environment limits me. But I will keep going! If I want something badly enough, I will keep going and figure it out. There's no other choice.
More updates later--I really do have a number of thoughts floating around in my head! Just need to get them written down. Oh! I also recently attended an online seminar about starting adoptee support groups which I'll have to spill on later.