tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post5984994561555529643..comments2023-10-04T06:18:47.704-04:00Comments on *Chopsticks Not Included: Death and abandonment issuesSoohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07424964631493987311noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-31954046668958550962011-11-20T11:17:14.253-05:002011-11-20T11:17:14.253-05:00Wow, Alison!! I can't believe that person sai...Wow, Alison!! I can't believe that person said something so horrible. It's sad that some people believe being an adoptive family somehow minimizes the significance of those relationships. Our losses are not any different and certainly not any less!Soohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07424964631493987311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-77553348144714401152011-11-17T08:52:02.781-05:002011-11-17T08:52:02.781-05:00Hi Soo,
Great post. Really made me think. I was ...Hi Soo,<br />Great post. Really made me think. I was adopted domestically as an infant and lost my dad when I was 17 and it completely devastated me. I lost my mother more recently, I was 43. Again, it was devastating. I had not considered the connection between being adopted and the loss of my (adoptive) parents. When I lost my dad as a teenager, I overheard someone say that they couldn't believe how upset I was because "he wasn't even her real father." That was 30 years ago and still stands out to me as one of the cruelest things I have ever heard someone say regarding adoption and what is means to be a family.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06421283711175565976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-75238107732868006062011-11-04T11:14:58.203-04:002011-11-04T11:14:58.203-04:00Hi Marijane! I really appreciate your comment. I...Hi Marijane! I really appreciate your comment. I'm sad to hear about your birthparents. In my mind, that kind of loss is just as significant as any other loss, but it's also more complicated because it's so amibguous. I think I feel similarly regarding my adoptive father. Not everyone seems to understand how possible it is to grieve for people you never really knew. At any rate, I wish you all the best with your search and look forward to reading more about it on your blog!Soohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07424964631493987311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-62733226557825479892011-10-28T13:27:39.086-04:002011-10-28T13:27:39.086-04:00Hi there,
I enjoyed reading your post. I'm a C...Hi there,<br />I enjoyed reading your post. I'm a Chinese adoptee and recently found out that both of my birthparents passed away, in fact, several years ago. Although I knew in my heart that this was probably the case, due to the little info I had on my adoption contract about my birthparents, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was surprised by my reaction, and am still processing my emotions, I guess you could say. I felt such a deep sense of loss at that moment even though I never knew my birthparents, nor have ever seen pictures. I lost both of my adoptive parents as well, so I understand the grief of losing a parent. While I've never considered myself to feel abandoned, I do feel a great sense of loss and, for lack of better words, a huge hole because I will never have the opportunity to meet my birthparents. This saddens me, yet I know that's just how it has to be. I'm currently searching for any surviving biological sisters in Taiwan. I hope to be able to connect one day with anyone from my birth family. Thank you for your thoughts and for writing about a sensitive topic!Marijanehttp://beyondtwoworlds.comnoreply@blogger.com