tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post3113336379745924862..comments2023-10-04T06:18:47.704-04:00Comments on *Chopsticks Not Included: Still work to be doneSoohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07424964631493987311noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-77766167103809738492011-03-30T22:55:04.017-04:002011-03-30T22:55:04.017-04:00Thank you Scotched for that reminder. I am trying...Thank you Scotched for that reminder. I am trying to find ways to talk to my kids about it but I admit that it is hard trying to find ways to tell them without disallusioning them about the world we live in and the people around us. Sigh! 5 just seems so young.mrkmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09180567143667720074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-91246187517078395312011-03-29T23:42:21.190-04:002011-03-29T23:42:21.190-04:00To the Caucasian mothers of adopted Koreans - I ca...To the Caucasian mothers of adopted Koreans - I can only ask you this:<br /><br />You know the feeling when you're the only Caucasian in the room full of non-whites? It makes you feel racially inferior and uncomfortable sometimes. Most people don't even put themselves in these situations.<br /><br />That is something your son will deal with on a daily basis (especially when he get's older) - but magnified to an entirely different level. When he's not around you, the same people that look like you, will often treat him the worst. Of course, when he's with you he'll be treated differently - so there's a lot that you won't see.<br /><br />My advice is to prepare him for race relations, and discuss it. Don't try to shelter him from the real world or minimize his race problems.<br /><br />That kind of stuff definitely did a number on me.scotchedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02415896376287277028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-9936426051617727772011-03-24T12:18:03.401-04:002011-03-24T12:18:03.401-04:00As a white woman, I can remember almost every sing...As a white woman, I can remember almost every single time I was subjected to racism. Once someone actually said that she would under no circumstance be helped by "that cracker"(I was working in a customer service position). I was flabbergasted. I do hope that those experiences will help me at least a little in understanding what my son will go through (probably on a much more frequent basis than me).Sandrahttp://3continents.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-74159828651684816352011-03-22T19:21:51.959-04:002011-03-22T19:21:51.959-04:00Thank you for your comments, Tonggu Momma and mrkm...Thank you for your comments, Tonggu Momma and mrkmommy. I too have been scared to speak up, but I'm realizing there are things more important than my own fears. I don't think standing up to racist thought and behavior is an easy thing to do in this society..which makes it all the more vital to do.Soohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07424964631493987311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-50257403031720101262011-03-19T22:34:54.495-04:002011-03-19T22:34:54.495-04:00Very good post. I like the Thurgood Marshall quot...Very good post. I like the Thurgood Marshall quote too. I think I have always been more sensitive than the average white person to racism because I have just never found humour in making fun of people. Now that I have my girls I am especially sensitive to the more subtle aspects of it also. Like Tonggu Momma I have always been terrified to say anything but I am more likely to know despite it. I have started with close friends and family because they will have the biggest impact on my children. <br /><br />We have been pretty blessed in our town and school that while Asians are not a majority we do have enough so that my daughters will not feel out of place. But it is interesting to note that from 3rd grade where her brother is to kindergarten where my oldest daughter is the other Asian girls are drawn to her. They all know her name and love to hug her and talk to her.mrkmommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09180567143667720074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-63468855944212259132011-03-19T22:00:24.112-04:002011-03-19T22:00:24.112-04:00I used to be terrified to say anything. Now I'...I used to be terrified to say anything. Now I'm still terrified, but I say it anyway. I've learned that most white people are terrified to talk about racism, so very few are actually doing it. I may not say all of the right things, but just talking with kids (at my daughter's elementary school) when I see them practicing racism is providing teachable moments. I may not say all of the right things, but it's better than silence. <br /><br />Thanks for this post.a Tonggu Mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02793668358074527237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-92213384009267774542011-03-17T00:32:20.607-04:002011-03-17T00:32:20.607-04:00Hey, thank you for commenting. That Thurgood Mars...Hey, thank you for commenting. That Thurgood Marshall quote is really great. The approach to handling racism always seems to be reactive which is too late. I think I see what you mean by the dark and light sides (correct me if I'm wrong). Together the two can strike the right tone of assertiveness without being too passive or too aggressive. <br /><br />Also, if you don't mind, I'd like to add your blog to my blog list! It's always good to hear another adoptee voice.Soohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07424964631493987311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-50434255664494953742011-03-16T15:54:16.127-04:002011-03-16T15:54:16.127-04:00Thought I should add:
I'm not saying that we ...Thought I should add:<br /><br />I'm not saying that we should be walking around uptight, and call-out people on first sign of disrespect... <br /><br />But think we should embrace our "darker side" when the time comes. We need both "wolves" so to speak. The dark wolf and the light wolf, can't win battles alone.scotchedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02415896376287277028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1686577761647636863.post-57534847943747165952011-03-16T03:04:48.006-04:002011-03-16T03:04:48.006-04:00This ain't something new.
The time for intell...This ain't something new. <br />The time for intelligent conversation has long since been over.<br />The time to act is NOW.<br />I'm done feeling bad about myself.<br /><br />From all my years as an American, I've learned that respect is not given, it must be demanded.<br /><br />Thurgood Marshall once said that, ["The time to deal with racism is not after something happens, it's right then and there."]<br /><br />I've called out many people for that subtle racism, even in the middle of a crowded store, with zero shame. Most of these cowards have nothing to say, once they realize that you're fighting back.<br /><br />Unfortunately, this is what it takes. It might take 1000 guys like me before the point gets across.<br /><br />You let a guy hit you once, he'll hit you once. You let him hit you twice, he'll hit you twice.<br />If you cut off that fucking arm, he won't be hitting anything.scotchedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02415896376287277028noreply@blogger.com